Walk it Back

Blanket Boo Boo

I finished the body on one of the baby afghans and was working a foundation row around it to set up the ruffle, when I realized something  fundamentally amiss.

She's too small.

How could I be so unaware of something so obvious!?!  I pride myself on having an intimate, creative relationship with the items I knit and crochet, yet I abandoned basic geometry by measuring her on the diagonal instead of the sides, and thought she was wide enough, so I blissfully began the other half of the diagonal, and came upon my mistake well after I finished.

Really, it's no big deal. I'll rip it back , make it wider, set the ruffle, and I'm done. I won't take long.

It's A Lot Like Life?

Wish life could be so easy.

This past July, I turned 50, a milestone birthday.  Nearly seven months later, However, I can't remember what I did that day (the aging process has started), but I know it was nothing special.

I'm grateful to generally have a quiet life, a stable marriage, and good health.  Still, I am beset with the nagging feeling that I could I have accomplished more, been more, seen more. I feel that I ruined my life with a queer cocktail of inactivity and headstrongness. Mind you, I was never one of the beautiful people, but now I'm black, a woman, a geek and old. What place do I have in society? I feel embarrassed that I frittered away so much, and all I have to look forward to is the inevitable end.

I know I'm being a bit dramatic, but I wish I had a do over like the one I'm going to give the afghan. Rip it up; start over; walk it back.

I came across this article yesterday. So nice to know I'm not alone with these feelings.  While I can't go back and start again, I can begin again from where I am and try to stop beating myself up over the past. I only have the present monent and that's better than being a blanket. I can grow from here.

By the way, while I'm at it, I'm going to frog the blue and brown afghan in yesterday's post.  I'm unhappy with the color pooling, so I'll try another pattern. 

It's all good.

See just how profound needlework can be?

 

Time/Reverse and rewind/Erase and revise/And try to start again...

Happy Pi Day too!

Comments

[Joel8x]

I like the idea of doing something every day that makes you nervous. Us humans get too comfortable and like to maintain. It's the stuff that makes us nervous that leads to change!

[Jeanmarie]

"Mind you, I was never one of the beautiful people, but now I'm black, a woman, a geek AND old."

I laughed out loud when I read that, because it so accurately describes how I feel since I also turned 50 (in August).

Mark Hermann's article was uplifting, but as much as I believe in the concept, I definitely have issues trying to consistently live in the "now."

What a confusing journey! So glad there are other bloggers to empathize with. It feels good to know certain nagging emotions are actually common, because misery loves company, I guess!

[Dorothy]

As one entering her 7th decade (and you think you're old!), I can tell you that we've all been there. Strangely enough, it gets better as you get older. I think we make peace with the things we haven't done and concentrate on the things we have, no matter how small. Live each day well because that's all we have. You have no idea of the impact you may have on those around you. I'm sure Patrick would agree.