Mom on the Mind
This weekend, especially, my thoughts are on my mother.
1. She was named after her grandmother. She wasn't crazy about the name, and she told us never to name a child after her. She preferred to be called Ida Mae by friends, but I'm not sure if most of her friends knew that.
2. She loved to read to distraction. I could walk in the house and could tell that she was finishing up a book because she'd put the housework on hold for a bit. To save time, she would get Reader's Digest Condensed Books, and would have me read the stories after she was done to discuss. So as a child, I ended up reading age inappropriate fare such as Wheels and The Other Side of Midnight, but the Victoria Holt novels were our favorites. We talk for hours about The Shadow of the Lynx and On The Night of the Seventh Moon among others. It was my time with Mom--our own little book club in our busy household.
3. She had a diverse taste in music. She loved country--Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, and George Jones, and Hank Williams, Sr. We also listened to Dean Martin, Marvin Gaye, Temptations, Supremes, and Tom Jones. She even get Mitch Miller songs for us kids to sing along.
4. She hated to drive.
5. She was very much into history and loved Civil War history in particular. The story of Theodosia Burr enchanted her. Really surprised I wasn't named Theodosia.
6. She raised six children on her own after my father left while she was pregnant with twins. She was only 24 years old at the time.
7. She accepted the supernatural into her life and believed in ghosts and claims to have seen them. On the other hand, she was agnostic about religion and pretty much let us trod our own religious path.
8. She made the best fried chicken and baked macaroni and cheese, and try as I might, I cannot
9. She had a forgiving nature. I don't remember telling us to hate our father or even saying bad things about him.
10. She loved my knitting and crocheting. When I first learned, I made her a hat and scarf combo out of halloween ombre yarn and I didn't know how to add stitches in crochet to make a flat beret, so the hat had a ugly peak. She wore it anyway.
My hot headed, combative, grudge holding, skeptical nature often clashed with my mother's gentler, more accepting way of looking at the world. As time passed, we learned to accept each other as we were, and I recall those adjustments in our final conversation.
I refused to celebrate the first few Mothers' Days after she passed. In my church, we would wear a red rose for living mothers and a white rose for deceased moms on that day, and I couldn't bring myself to wear a white rose.
I still haven't, but I think I can now.
Happy Mothers' Day weekend.
This is a gorgeous testament to your mom. What a wonderful model for us all.
Posted by: Cheryl Smithem | May 07, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Nice homage to your mother. Looks like she raised a pretty incredible daughter.
Posted by: Deneen | May 07, 2011 at 10:30 AM
What a beautiful tribute to your mother. Happy Mother's Day!
Posted by: Jennifer | May 07, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Thank you for sharing about your mom. What great memories you have of her. Happy Mother's Day as you remember her.
Posted by: Dorothy | May 07, 2011 at 04:39 PM
Lovely tribute to you mother.
I think it speaks volumes about your mother that she didn't speak bad about your father. My didn't either while she raised the five of us and I respect her highly for it. We knew him and had contact with him when we made it but he was never really in our lives.
I was also hot headed, combative, grudge holding, skeptical nature with a mother of a gentler nature who is loved and respected by everyone she meets. I still aspire to be more like her and I love her beyond words.
Posted by: Beverly | May 07, 2011 at 10:25 PM
That is lovely, Vera and what a great photo of your mother.
Posted by: Joan | May 07, 2011 at 10:55 PM
Thank you for sharing such a touching and beautiful tribute with us. It surely reminds me to take every opportunity to show my own mom how very much I appreciate her.
Posted by: Jeanmarie | May 09, 2011 at 09:30 AM
It was so lovely to read this after getting to know you (and more about your mom) during our coffee chat last weekend.
Posted by: Angie Mizzell | May 09, 2011 at 02:38 PM
She sounds like a lovely woman (and was gorgeous!). Your mom sounds a lot like my mom, it's been over a decade since mine passed, and I'm not sure I'd be able to wear that white rose of yours.
Posted by: Lorette | May 17, 2011 at 08:18 PM